One millimeter

I didn’t have any clinical symptoms that pointed to ‘something wrong’. Like, there was no depression, no lack of interest, no desire to die; none of these had really manifested themselves strongly in me. Although, I couldn’t deny that traces of all these were somewhere hidden in the corners of my being. So, am I supposed to be worried? Is it not healthy to experience all types of emotions, however negative they might seem to be? Well, maybe not.

I laugh a lot, play, crack jokes, complete articles, enter corrections, exercise, and even diet. I can somewhat safely say that I am almost happy. Although, that one millimeter of distance to reach complete happiness still remained. But here’s something I need to say – I momentarily experienced complete bliss yesterday.

I was travelling in a local train, from one deserted station to another. I was totally alone with my set of emotions. Monsoon air was blowing my hair as I looked out at the world passing by, a world that couldn’t touch me for that one moment. In a local train compartment that was meant to be public, I shared a private moment with myself. It cleared my head, gave my thoughts some breathing space, and within a few minutes my mind had been serviced. It’s such a surprise to find happy moments unexpectedly. That afternoon I truly felt myself in complete solitude. Finally, I had managed to walk that one millimeter of distance.